That is not my problem

I have found it very hard to distinguish what is my problem and what is someone else's problem.  In my younger days, I would have a friend come to me with a problem.  I would empathise with them and try to understand how they felt and got very caught up in their problem.  The next week, the same friend had resolved their problem and I was still caught up in it and trying to resolve my feelings.  Very simply it was not my problem to take on.

I still find it difficult not to get upset for my loved ones when someone does something against them.  I have started to learn that I can give advice but once that advice is given that is the end of my involvement in their problems. 

Everyone has to learn to make the division between what is their problem and what is someone else's problem.  I am not advocating that you don't care about other people and their problems.  What I am saying is that you don't get emotionally involved in their problem.  You can listen to the person, you can offer alternative options of how they may wish to resolve their problem, then you leave it there.  You have no control over what choices they make to resolve their problem.  If you get emotionally involved and they do not resolve the problem you want them to, it is you who feels frustrated and upset.

I find that the serenity poem is so appropriate.  When I am struggling with a problem, if I step back and work out if I can do anything to change the outcome, I will do it.  If I cannot change the outcome, I can change my attitude to accept the outcome.

Everyone has the opportunity to grow from problems in life, the decision of actions and the consequences of those actions help people mature.  If you fight other people's battles you are doing them a disservice as well as yourself.  They do not have the opportunity to grow stronger and you have used time you could have been using to work on yourself.

Start being a little more discerning as to how you help people.  Don't let their problems become your baggage.