A few years ago, I went to a psychic who told me I should leave my husband. I was devastated. I cried all the way home and I cried even harder when I told my husband that the psychic said I should leave him. My ever practical husband gave me a big hug and asked me " Do you want to leave me?" I replied "No" Then he said "Then what is the problem?" He basically told me that I did not have to do what the psychic told me to do. If I had listened to the psychic, it would have had a negative effect on my life.
As a medium, I have been asked by clients whether they should leave their partners. After my experience, I now have very strong ideas that no one in the physical or spirit world has the right to tell someone to leave their partner. This is a decision that has to be made by the individual. Firstly, they alone know the nature of their relationship and can make an informed decision. Secondly, they may feel they want to leave their partner but still need a little more time to make sure they are making the right decision. Thirdly, once the decision is made, they are personally responsible for the outcome. Through making their own decision, they have grown as a person and if it does not turn out how they expect, the can't blame someone else for the situation. On the other hand, if it turns out better than expected they can take all the credit for outcome.
I believe the role of a psychic is to provide the information and tools for the client to be able to make their own decision to move forward. Offering their clients a different perspective and alternative ways to help them work through their situations. This way, the client holds the power to shape their own future. The psychic should encourage empowerment not dependence.
It is about time that psychics took a step back, look at the impact their words have on their client's lives. Ask themselves whether they would be happy with someone telling their loved ones the things they are telling their clients. As soon as you accept payment for what you are saying to a client, then you have an obligation to make a positive impact on your client's life not a negative impact.
People also need to take responsibility to be discerning and realise that you don't have to do what a psychic tells you to do. At the end of the day, be responsible for your own decisions.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
That is not my problem
I have found it very hard to distinguish what is my problem and what is someone else's problem. In my younger days, I would have a friend come to me with a problem. I would empathise with them and try to understand how they felt and got very caught up in their problem. The next week, the same friend had resolved their problem and I was still caught up in it and trying to resolve my feelings. Very simply it was not my problem to take on.
I still find it difficult not to get upset for my loved ones when someone does something against them. I have started to learn that I can give advice but once that advice is given that is the end of my involvement in their problems.
Everyone has to learn to make the division between what is their problem and what is someone else's problem. I am not advocating that you don't care about other people and their problems. What I am saying is that you don't get emotionally involved in their problem. You can listen to the person, you can offer alternative options of how they may wish to resolve their problem, then you leave it there. You have no control over what choices they make to resolve their problem. If you get emotionally involved and they do not resolve the problem you want them to, it is you who feels frustrated and upset.
I find that the serenity poem is so appropriate. When I am struggling with a problem, if I step back and work out if I can do anything to change the outcome, I will do it. If I cannot change the outcome, I can change my attitude to accept the outcome.
Everyone has the opportunity to grow from problems in life, the decision of actions and the consequences of those actions help people mature. If you fight other people's battles you are doing them a disservice as well as yourself. They do not have the opportunity to grow stronger and you have used time you could have been using to work on yourself.
Start being a little more discerning as to how you help people. Don't let their problems become your baggage.
I still find it difficult not to get upset for my loved ones when someone does something against them. I have started to learn that I can give advice but once that advice is given that is the end of my involvement in their problems.
Everyone has to learn to make the division between what is their problem and what is someone else's problem. I am not advocating that you don't care about other people and their problems. What I am saying is that you don't get emotionally involved in their problem. You can listen to the person, you can offer alternative options of how they may wish to resolve their problem, then you leave it there. You have no control over what choices they make to resolve their problem. If you get emotionally involved and they do not resolve the problem you want them to, it is you who feels frustrated and upset.
I find that the serenity poem is so appropriate. When I am struggling with a problem, if I step back and work out if I can do anything to change the outcome, I will do it. If I cannot change the outcome, I can change my attitude to accept the outcome.
Everyone has the opportunity to grow from problems in life, the decision of actions and the consequences of those actions help people mature. If you fight other people's battles you are doing them a disservice as well as yourself. They do not have the opportunity to grow stronger and you have used time you could have been using to work on yourself.
Start being a little more discerning as to how you help people. Don't let their problems become your baggage.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
What are Soulmates?
I have seen people in love and they tell me they have found their soulmate. I have had 'spiritual' people try to explain to me about soul recognition and another part of me in spirit world and frankly I had no idea what they were talking about.
My understanding of soulmate is the popular version used by people in love. I used to be envious of these people who had found their soulmate and were sure they were going to live happily ever after. I have since changed my opinion.
No one person is capable of meeting all your needs. Different people in my life meet my different needs. It is through the diversity of the people that I interact with, that all my needs are met. Also, it is that diversity of other people in my life that makes me more interesting to those closest to me. I dont need my partner to be all things to me and to be constantly by my side. We do not need to be joined at the hip to be happy.
Take a look around you and see the part that people play in your life. The person you have the deep and meaningful conversations is probably different to the one you go out and have fun with. The one who you go dancing with is probably different to the one who you play chess with.
We are each unique individuals, shaped by circumstances, experiences and nature. There is no other person just like you. You need to be happy with who you are. Your thoughts are shaped by your experiences and the people that surround you. The more people you meet and talk to, the more interesting you become to yourself and others.
To be happy you do not need an individual to do this for you. You do not need to find a soulmate. Do not make your happiness and who you are be dependant on your partner. You need to be happy with the person you are and the interests you follow first and foremost. Then when you have made sure you have met your needs then you can share who you are with a partner.
My understanding of soulmate is the popular version used by people in love. I used to be envious of these people who had found their soulmate and were sure they were going to live happily ever after. I have since changed my opinion.
No one person is capable of meeting all your needs. Different people in my life meet my different needs. It is through the diversity of the people that I interact with, that all my needs are met. Also, it is that diversity of other people in my life that makes me more interesting to those closest to me. I dont need my partner to be all things to me and to be constantly by my side. We do not need to be joined at the hip to be happy.
Take a look around you and see the part that people play in your life. The person you have the deep and meaningful conversations is probably different to the one you go out and have fun with. The one who you go dancing with is probably different to the one who you play chess with.
We are each unique individuals, shaped by circumstances, experiences and nature. There is no other person just like you. You need to be happy with who you are. Your thoughts are shaped by your experiences and the people that surround you. The more people you meet and talk to, the more interesting you become to yourself and others.
To be happy you do not need an individual to do this for you. You do not need to find a soulmate. Do not make your happiness and who you are be dependant on your partner. You need to be happy with the person you are and the interests you follow first and foremost. Then when you have made sure you have met your needs then you can share who you are with a partner.
Monday, September 13, 2010
This is my life
This is my life. I make my own choices and decisions. I am totally responsible for every emotion I feel, every situation I have been in and every outcome that has occurred during my lifetime.
I do not know if it is the age we are living in or the culture that has evolved but I constantly hear people blaming others for the predictaments they find themselves in. Quite frankly, I find the victim mentality very tiresome.
We all have to make our own choices and live with the consequences. Sometimes life delivers a nasty blow but it is entirely up to you how to deal with the situation. The outcome is your responsibility. You can't blame others for the way your life ends up. They may have made bad choices that did have an impact on your life but your reactions to the situation is your responsibility.
Some people abdicate responsibility for making a choice or decision and let someone else make their decisions for them be it a psychic, partner or parent etc. By letting someone else make a decision for you, you have made a choice to let someone else run your life. You are still responsible for the outcome because you made a passive choice not to do anything.
We do not always have control of what hand life deals us, but we do have control of our reactions. Next time something unexpected happens to you, don't go into the victim mode, take a look at the situation and find the positives in it. This is not always easy and it does take practice.
Next time someone tries to make decisions for you, acknowledge that you are allowing them to make the decision or choose to make your own decision. This may sound harsh but nobody will look after your interests if you are not willing to look after your own interests. Make your life decisions and actions be important to you. Take responsibility for yourself and acknowledge the choices you are making. Also be aware of the results of your choices.
Please, choose to take control of your life and leave those who choose to be victims to their own misery.
I do not know if it is the age we are living in or the culture that has evolved but I constantly hear people blaming others for the predictaments they find themselves in. Quite frankly, I find the victim mentality very tiresome.
We all have to make our own choices and live with the consequences. Sometimes life delivers a nasty blow but it is entirely up to you how to deal with the situation. The outcome is your responsibility. You can't blame others for the way your life ends up. They may have made bad choices that did have an impact on your life but your reactions to the situation is your responsibility.
Some people abdicate responsibility for making a choice or decision and let someone else make their decisions for them be it a psychic, partner or parent etc. By letting someone else make a decision for you, you have made a choice to let someone else run your life. You are still responsible for the outcome because you made a passive choice not to do anything.
We do not always have control of what hand life deals us, but we do have control of our reactions. Next time something unexpected happens to you, don't go into the victim mode, take a look at the situation and find the positives in it. This is not always easy and it does take practice.
Next time someone tries to make decisions for you, acknowledge that you are allowing them to make the decision or choose to make your own decision. This may sound harsh but nobody will look after your interests if you are not willing to look after your own interests. Make your life decisions and actions be important to you. Take responsibility for yourself and acknowledge the choices you are making. Also be aware of the results of your choices.
Please, choose to take control of your life and leave those who choose to be victims to their own misery.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Karma is going to get you.
How many times have you heard someone say "Karma is going to get you"? Every time I hear that phrase I shudder. Karma is not your personal revenge tool. Karma is about balance not revenge.
When something bad or unpleasant happens to you, instead of worrying about Karma wreaking havoc on the person who has caused you this pain, concentrate on what lesson you need to learn from this experience. If we focus more on ourselves and our actions and our lessons rather than some 'nasty person who done me wrong', we are more likely to grow and become better people.
Situations in life are opportunities to learn how to improve ourselves. We go through our frantic day to day lives and usually don't have time to concentrate on ourselves. Who we are, what we stand for. Our time is spent reacting to situations. When a situation puts a spanner in the works for us the first thing we want to do is blame someone one else for our misfortunes. Then we have a choice. We can say "Karma is going to get you" and feel comforted knowing that someone else is going to feel pain and you carry on your merry way. The alternative is a much harder but a much more rewarding path. You can look at the situation and ask yourself some hard questions. "Did my actions contribute to this situation arising?" "Is there something I can learn from this experience?" "Have I put too much importance on my car/job/house?" "How can I stop this situation developing again?"
Sometimes it is very hard to look objectively at a situation and to accept responsibility for what has happened. You sometimes need to give yourself some time to heal before you can really look at a situation and learn some lessons from it. Put it away for a little while but you must come back to it and analyze what you need to learn from the situation. This can sometimes be very painful but if you can learn that you can change your behaviour to stop this from happening again, surely it is worth it.
So often I see people (myself included) spending time and energy worrying about what other people are doing and putting judgements on them. If we put that time and energy concentrating on what we are doing and how our actions affect us and the people around us, I am sure this world would be a lot nicer place to live.
When something bad or unpleasant happens to you, instead of worrying about Karma wreaking havoc on the person who has caused you this pain, concentrate on what lesson you need to learn from this experience. If we focus more on ourselves and our actions and our lessons rather than some 'nasty person who done me wrong', we are more likely to grow and become better people.
Situations in life are opportunities to learn how to improve ourselves. We go through our frantic day to day lives and usually don't have time to concentrate on ourselves. Who we are, what we stand for. Our time is spent reacting to situations. When a situation puts a spanner in the works for us the first thing we want to do is blame someone one else for our misfortunes. Then we have a choice. We can say "Karma is going to get you" and feel comforted knowing that someone else is going to feel pain and you carry on your merry way. The alternative is a much harder but a much more rewarding path. You can look at the situation and ask yourself some hard questions. "Did my actions contribute to this situation arising?" "Is there something I can learn from this experience?" "Have I put too much importance on my car/job/house?" "How can I stop this situation developing again?"
Sometimes it is very hard to look objectively at a situation and to accept responsibility for what has happened. You sometimes need to give yourself some time to heal before you can really look at a situation and learn some lessons from it. Put it away for a little while but you must come back to it and analyze what you need to learn from the situation. This can sometimes be very painful but if you can learn that you can change your behaviour to stop this from happening again, surely it is worth it.
So often I see people (myself included) spending time and energy worrying about what other people are doing and putting judgements on them. If we put that time and energy concentrating on what we are doing and how our actions affect us and the people around us, I am sure this world would be a lot nicer place to live.
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